invisible dog poop

We got the tree up today and by we I mean Charity. It looks good and while I don't particularly care for the holidays, she does, so it is important to me now as well. It is a nice tree and while we don't have a lighted deer next to it we do have a dog. However, he does not like to be wrapped in lights, so that's out. By the way, the deer looks awesome by the tree with it looking back and forth. Pooh loves it and that's what counts.
We also wrapped some birthday presents, no not for the baby Christ, but for the Sprite, my tree's daughter. Her birthday is Wednesday, she will be 12, God help us all. To me, she may as well be an alien from another plane of existence. Girls, go figure. The female of the human species tends to be too complex for my fathoming. Give me the males to deal with, simple and stupid.
I retrieved a large dog kennel for my pooch today, it's almost as large as the kitchen table, but he can fit into it comfortably. I had to get one due to his thinking that he needs to go everywhere with me and if not, he is obligated to try and follow...through the windows or walls. No really, through a wall! Plus, last night he bit into one of the Internet cords severing it neatly. Now, on to the subject of invisible poop. You've been waiting for this I just know it! Has your dog, assuming that you have one, farted so awesomely that you just KNEW you had stepped in crap? Or that the furry one had just dropped a bomb right next to you? Mine did just that today as we were stepping off of the porch. Man, I looked everywhere for it, even checking my shoes. Invisible poop, makes you wonder, or does it? It may just be me. Oh, and for the rest of humanity's' knowledge, it is not wise to hold a cold cat inside of your jacket when your dog sprints at you while you are squatted down. Apparently 75+ pounds of slobbering fur doing 30 miles an hour towards you is cause for alarm in most cats. They react. Violently. And very quickly. Claws, moving at blender speed running around the inside of your jacket can be cause for alarm in most humans, I have found. Animals! I just love 'em!