Joe

I would like to share a chance meeting that i had with a fellow in one of those horrid gathering places of mass consumerism a few weeks back. Understand That I am not stereotyping this guy or being a racist, his accent really was this thick and he knows it and says so. I am going to try to type his part as close to phonetically as possible so you too can get the flavour of his accent.
I was waiting for my Tree to get off work when I spotted this elderly fellow sitting on a bench. I nodded and he returned the nod. I came back a few minuets later and sat next to him and thus begins the meeting. His name is Joe.
Joe is an Italian immigrant, somewhere as he says, in his 80's for a while now. He is the veteran of our Air Force and served during Viet Nam. Joe is full of life and stories as I was to find out. With an impish grin and very little pause, he dives right in to a story.
" When-a I was-a in Japan, they had-a me drive a truck-a to a place. Now, I'm-a no truck-a driver, I no know what-a fuck is-a going on, but hey, I do it! Now the trucks, they have-a call sings, you know-a; a=alpha, t=tango and so on. This-a is my first-a time to do this, so I have-a no idea what I do-a. This-a guy, he stop me and ask, are you 124 Charlie? I say-a no, my name is-a Joe! He say, listen here-s you dumb fuck-a, not-a your name, what the truck's name. I say, how the hell should I know the truck's-a name, I never been introduced before!"
After a few laughs from me, he explains how "back then" you could buy a woman for $5.00 for the whole night. He then tells me this short tale and trust me, i cannot do it justice.
"Me and -a my friend from Kentucky was-a at this bar with this guy from-a the Boston whose accent was-a terrible! There was-a this woman there who my buddy bought-a a beer. She starts-a rubbing between my legs and-a I move her hand-a away. She move-a it back-a. Next thing I know-, she in my lap-a! So I says to my buddy, Hey Tom-a, get-a this yougly bitch-a off-a my lap-a!!! The other guy, he say, What the fuck-a he just say? I say Get this yougly bitch-a off-a my lap-a!!!!! He say, What the fuck-a is the yougly??? My friend, he say, That when ugly is-a not enough to describe-a how-a ugly she is. Now, back-a then, my English is not so-a good, not-a like now, so I-a not know how you ugly so I say it yougly. It was-a all over base very soon. A few months-a later I was transferred to Greece. I'm-a sitting ata bar when this-a guy, he come in looking real rough. I say, Hey fella, what's-a happened to you? He say, "I had-a this date last-a night and man! was she YOUGLY!! I says, "you just come-a from Japan? he say, "Yeah, how-a you know? I say never you-a mind!
As I said, I cannot do these stories justice without telling them in person and even still, it would not be NEAR as funny without Joe telling them. I would love to record a conversation with him. Eventually his wife walks up and Joe's face was afire with love that comes from years of waking up next to a beautiful sunrise, and his sunrise is his wife. She too is an Italian immigrant. She looked to be maybe half of Joe's age and a real looker!! Go Joe!!!!! I don't know what his secret is, but it sure works for him.
I hope to meet Joe again, though I doubt that I will. Meetings like this are once in a life time happenings. I type this more for me than for anyone else, so I will remember Joe, and the life that still burns inside of him. To remember his many stories, of which I only shared two short ones. Live long Joe, and keep telling your stories!