A mixed up mind or a confused coconut.

Being bi-polar often times sucks the ass. A smelly, hairy, greasy, zit-filled ass. Every night I get ready for bed and wonder who will wake up tomorrow. Will it be the neurotic, paranoid, can't-leave-the-room guy? The anal attentive neat freak cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush? (Not my toothbrush mind you!) Will i awake to the depressed lay-in bed-all-day guy? Or, the worst, the furious bastard that hates all things personality? I never know. What's worse is the length of time between these people varies. Could last a day, could last a couple of weeks. Personally, I prefer the manic, wild idiot, though even I get tired of this one. The constant chatter from my mouth and in my head that never seems to be connected to each other wears thin on my nerves, yet I cannot stop it. Some days I don't even notice what I'm doing...until I see the bank statement! If I have money, I often spend it without thinking. Impulsive purchasing on a budget larger than I have access to often bodes ill for me. Then again, when I start thinking of a purchase I will talk myself out of it.
Then there are the voices and noises. Oh what fun to go around all day looking for that fricking noise that eludes one all day! Or to keep looking to see if anyone else hears what I, or my mind, thinks it hears. Meds do help keep things manageable, most days. The best defense I currently have against tripping over the cliff of insanity is my dog, Bruno. I can always count on him to lighten things up. When anxiety clubs me in the head, he is right there to put his head under my hand to calm me down. When the "noises" become worse, I look at him to see if he is listening to something or someone to determine if we both hear it. Imagine if he heard things too! That would be funny as hell, sad, but funny! It has taken some adjustments, but he and I read each other pretty well and rely on each other for comfort and security. I think we are both better for it. He no longer a risk at being put down for lack of a home, I at a lesser risk for being put down due to lack of sanity. Make no mistake, I still lack sanity, I just cope better with it now. Or without it, depending on which side I look at. We, dare I say it, complete each other. That is so corny you could plant it, but it works. Together we are a little less un-complete. Besides, without my bed, where would he sleep?