A Rant a.k.a. pissing and moaning.

There are a great many things that I consider myself, civilized is not one of those things. Hell, I am barely tame or domesticated. I have seen "civilized" people and see them on a daily basis, if even in the media via t.v. or the inter-webz, and I greatly dislike them. There is very damned little civilized about civilization. The rape of children, torture on national or religious beliefs, murder for shoes, a watch, $27.00, or for no reason at all. This is daily! DAILY, mind you. Every fucking day someone is butchering someone else! I am not speaking of killing to protect an innocent or loved ones or hell, even one's self. Just senseless deaths, day after day. Recently I watched a documentary of homicide detectives going about their jobs. In one instant they had to interview a SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY, the oldest of the three, that witnessed his mother being shot in the head while she was in the car with those 3 little children. These hardened men and women were crying after the interview with the child as he described his mother's brain matter being splattered on his face! No shit, I would cry as well. Oh, the reason of the murder? An argument over a man. What a wonderful reason to kill someone in front of their 3 children. All that suffering over a perceived disrespect. Hell, a person must first respect themselves before they can others! I recall a time when respect was EARNED through one's actions and morals. On how that person treated others. Not because they feel they demand respect! Not because of an inflated sense of self worth and importance. Humans should set aside their inflated egos and be mindful of the other people on this planet. Be civil for fucks sake. A nicer way could be the old do unto others thing. One can stick to their beliefs and morals while respecting the beliefs and morals of others. You don't have to agree with them, but understand that not everyone believes as they do. I am not immune from my verbal ass-whipping. I too have a hard time realizing that maybe, just maybe, this planet does not revolve around me. Staggering thought, I know, but true. Yes, I am not the center of the universe as I have led you all to believe.....but tell no one of this! I struggle with attachments that I have to beliefs or ideals, that not everyone does something simply to piss me right the hell off. I am not angry as I type this, just frustrated at the state of in-humanity.
These issues that I have with un-civilization have come to light, more so, as I realized that I am becoming more withdrawn from humanity. I go to the park almost daily, but this is done before sun rise and just after. The few people that are there are usually regulars and I am comfortable with them. They are civil to others, always with a wave or a "good morning" and a smile. I have a few, very few, friends that I am comfortable around and, honestly, at times it is hard for me to be "out" with them. Sure, in an environment that they are in I can usually be at ease, but there are times when this is difficult. I know a lot of this is due to my illness, but I still do not enjoy the fact that I can't just go over and be at ease without worrying about a meltdown. I had a royal meltdown the other day. It took another day to recover from the pressure of people in this town. It is not just this town, it is any place where people are. The more I am around people, the less I want to be. Call it antisocial or label it another way, the fact is people suck. Not all, but most.
To those very few people that are civil and human, thank you.